Pursue Pleasure and Play to Feel Alive Again

A new pillar of soul work, join my Sacred Cacao Ceremony, and a new recipe

Pleasure and play have rarely been priorities in my past.

As a child, I only had brief moments of play. And pleasure was not even a consideration, as there were so many other concerns in my immigrant family.

But if we follow the soul toward play, pleasurable activities hold a wealth of wisdom.

In my twenties, I tried to follow a call to learn pottery. I thought that enrolling in a class would allow me to have fun, far away from my demanding and serious work in start-up tech.

Unfortunately, I approached the class like work and not open-ended play. After two classes, I determined that I couldn’t excel at the wheel and dropped out, never reaching the capacity for pure pleasure.

Earlier this year, I heard the soul call me back to pottery. I heard that there may be lessons within the activity, if I allowed myself to just play.

Two classes in, I struggled with the clay, whispering to my teacher, “This is the point when I quit twenty years ago.”

She replied, “This is low stakes. Just play.”

My first six weeks were a real struggle. My mind wished to move on but my soul got me to class each week. As a result, I was gifted so much wisdom.

First, to witness myself try and fail a dozen times was to also witness my capacity to learn new things.

Second, the pleasure of shaping each vessel into art helped me see my non-pottery work as art, too.

Third, when my teacher and I have our hands on the wheel simultaneously, I see how that act mimics my mentorship style, where mentor and mentee embody both roles.

There is no hierarchy in soul work, just co-creation.

Lastly, once I heard the call to make cacao cups, I noticed how the birth of each new cup was birthing a desire to expand into other realms that cultivate pleasure, like Ceremonial Cacao.

Slowly, softly, the pursuit of this new pleasure helped me to feel alive again.

And aliveness is how you bloom. It’s the result of your growth, as you listen to and follow your soul.

I share other lessons from a few playful experiences (some of which are a little, ahem, explicit) on today’s episode of the podcast.

Listen to episode 72 Pursue Pleasure now.

Explore all the pillars of soul work with me in The Soul Mentorship Program.

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As I moved through this last week, preparing to advise you to pursue pleasure and play in order to feel alive again, I considered some of the ways that I play.

Food is most certainly not something to waste—considering so many go without it on this planet—and also, it’s become such a zeitgeist of our current times, a representation of status or wealth—but also a representation of how we heal and care for ourselves, and doing those very things can be supremely pleasurable.

For example, I’m not sure if you’re as obsessed with the series The Bear as I am. It’s a comedy-drama television series about an award-winning chef who returns to his hometown to manage his deceased brother’s sandwich shop.

Now, I wouldn’t say the series is entirely pleasurable—as there have been many moments while watching when I fall into a weeping mess.

I mean, I even had a very mild anxiety episode in the last minutes of season one, when the summation of situations triggered a surprisingly raw and tender food memory.

But just as food heals by triggering evocations and releasing emotions, it also heals by encouraging play.

In fact, just this last weekend, I mimicked a recipe from the latest season of The Bear. I made the soft-as-air omelette that one human offers to another, and in the offering, a bit of healing and pleasure finds them both.

Sydney’s velvety three-egg mixture was filled with cheese, rubbed with butter, and topped with crushed ridged potato chips and chopped chives. I made a similar version in my home, wishing to feel a warm hug within, but also smiling with joy as I crushed crispy chips over the finished plate. I was playing but in a healing way.

Here’s a link to The Washington Post’s version of that recipe.

I made a bunch of other recipes this past week. I steeped chamomile with both lemon and ginger, in separate jars, to create teas to hold me through the shift of seasons and the corresponding allergies that always find me.

I made a large loaf of banana bread filled with chocolate chards, and instead of giving it away, I froze it into individual slices to give pleasure to my future self. I love the flexibility of this recipe.

And I tumbled a pound of garlic cloves into a small casserole dish to slow roast for all sorts of recipe play this fall and winter. I’ll leave my garlic confit recipe down below.

In between the food, I relished the last few beautiful summer-like days where I live, out by the ocean on Cape Ann, Massachusetts.

My body naturally woke me between five and six each morning to get to the sea for sunrise. It really is the most pleasurable experience to wake before the world in order to walk with the wind and the waves and the first rays that warm your face at what feels like the edge of the world. I listen to a favorite playlist and walk like I’m dancing all the way to the sea and back.

And I hope that this is a reminder to you that while I speak about play in the form of exercise and pottery class and sex in today’s podcast episode (I would love it if you listened), there are so many ways to pursue pleasure—like making a new recipe, eating potato chips in the morning, dancing instead of walking, tumbling garlic cloves into a dish, and consuming any food that feels like a hug within—whether it’s salty chips or nourishing tea.

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I’m thrilled to say that I’m hosting two live sessions with limited spots in Essex, Massachusetts this Fall.

Would you like to meet up in person? Here are the details.

The first event is a free women’s circle where I will share stories on the sweetness of life and the magic that unfolds when you listen to your soul. It’s perfect for those wishing to trust their inner voice. I’ll also share a bit about Ceremonial Cacao as a heart-opening, sacred food that helped me trust myself. This is on Thursday, October 19 at 6:30 pm ET. That’s so soon!

The second event is a two-hour Sacred Cacao Ceremony during which I will guide you through an experience of softness, connection, and remembrance in order to hear vital messages from your soul and allow your next best steps to surface. In addition, you will enjoy the Ceremonial Cacao in ceramic cups made by and infused with my Tijax energy, the sacred energy of the warrior-healer that I carry in this lifetime. This is on Sunday, November 12 at 10:00 am ET. Grab your spot as there are only a few!

I share the links to reserve your space here.

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Garlic Confit

Makes about 3 cups

Note: I use this garlic in place of any garlic in recipes. It adds a less raw and more subtle, soft garlic flavor. I also spread it on toasted bread, mash it into pasta sauces and salad dressings, and eat a clove or two when I feel the tickle of a cold.

Ingredients:

• 1 pound peeled garlic cloves (approximately)

• 3 cups extra virgin olive oil (approximately)

Directions:

Set the oven to 250 degrees.

Place the garlic cloves in a shallow casserole dish. Pour the olive oil over the garlic to cover completely. Push the cloves around to make sure they’re all submerged. Add more oil, as needed, to ensure proper coverage.

When the oven reaches temperature, confit the garlic in oil for about 90 minutes, or until the cloves are soft and slightly golden. Remove from the oven.

Once cool, pour the garlic and oil into a glass container and store in the back of your fridge for three to four months.